


for external use only

by evenlypaced



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Light Smut, M/M, can be taken as a no wives au, vaporub in places vaporub shouldn’t be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 08:35:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17321585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evenlypaced/pseuds/evenlypaced
Summary: Rhett and Link receive a lesson in eagerness and label reading.





	for external use only

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in 2012 for a different fandom but dug it up as i was clearing old unfinished works. Decided to revamp it for our boys. 
> 
> Written at 2am while laughing to myself, try not judge this too harshly 👍

Rhett leans down, kissing up Link’s torso, making his way up and latching himself on Link’s lips, already over-plump and kiss swollen. Shared hotel rooms were kept infrequent supposedly for their sake, but they secretly craved them. They would end up in one room anyway, their antics supposedly secret, this just made it easier. 

This night marked the first night in a week they could be fully intimate, Link recovering from sickness that came from being on the road. Rhett didn’t mind taking care of him while he felt lousy, but Link was more than ready for a different kind of care now. 

“Rhett, come on.” Link whines, arching up into the hand still lightly stroking his erection.They had few nights where they could take their time, loosen each other up slowly, and make love peacefully. Although they had the allowance, Link didn’t want that tonight. He was eager, on edge after going days without touching Rhett the way he wanted to. His depravity was further heightened after going for drinks with the crew at a bar neighboring the hotel. Rhett has teased him all night, and now Link was going to take what he wanted.

Rhett was eager at the point too, having riled himself up from his earlier behavior towards Link. He worked the younger man up with good reason, drinking significantly less than he normally would to maintain himself for the night’s antics.  
He blindly reached over to the side table and grabs a tub, eagerly swirling his fingers in the jelly like substance, noticing a minty smell to it. He didn’t take time to tease, pushing forward rapidly to give them what they both wanted.

Rhett chuckled at the scent. “ _Kinky_ ” he thinks to himself as he pushes two fingers into Link, getting him slick and relishing at the sounds the brunette is making as Rhett works him open. He uses the excess the coat the rest of his hand before rubbing a generous amount on his length and moving quickly. Rhett thrust in, earning an unfiltered groan from Link as he began snapping his hips rapidly. Everything moved quickly, neither man in the mood to wait.

The bed rocked, causing the tissues and various cold medicines that were still laid out to shake on the table next to the bed.

Rhett goes to pull out and push in again when he hears Link moaning, stopping for a second as he notices a twist of pain in the man’s eyes. 

Rhett has no time to question anything when feels it almost instantly, a burning sensation on his cock twisting him from immense pleasure to immense pain.

“Fuck!" 

"What the fuck, Rhett.” Link obviously feeling the same. They both grab for the lube, Rhett gasping at it.

It would be laughable, really, if he wasn’t in so much pain right now

The label proclaiming VICK’S VapoRub and Rhett wants to cry, attempting to grapple with his massive mistake.

They rushed to the bathroom, instantly entering the shower and attempting to but wash it off. No amount of soap or scrubbing seemed to help, the cold just barely soothing their aching members before the harsh stinging returned.

“Fuck, Rhett, w-we need to go the ER. I don’t what this shit can do and-”

Rhett groaned, because that meant explaining how it happened and there’s no doubt the ER staff would eventually put two and two together. Link was clear headed enough to plead with him again, overly concerned for the impact this would leave them with.

Rhett nodded unwillingly, pulling on sweatpants, wincing at the pain of it as he attempted to be put together enough to leave the room.

Link was uncomfortable, but couldn’t even imagine the kind of pain Rhett was in. They made their way to the elevators, Rhett going to hit the button for the lobby when Link hit the fourth floor button instead.

Link turned toward him, Rhett obviously confused. This wasn’t time for games, Link had to know that.

“We need to tell Stevie.”

“Like hell we are telling anyone about this.”

“ _Rhett_ ”

Rhett groaned but nodded, following Link’s lead as they headed off the elevator and down the hall. 

They stood in front of Stevie’s door, fighting over who should wake her up. They knew she would be mad if, god forbid, this story reached anyone outside of the crew and she wasn’t the first to know. 

The bickering eventually did the work for them. Stevie came out, groggy with a confused but concerned look on her face 

“We need the keys to the crew truck.”

She woke up a bit, the sleepiness still lingering her brain with confusion, “And why would I do that?”

Rhett stuttered and Link was cranky, in pain, and sexually frustrated and not putting up with this at such a late hour.

“Rhett can’t read so long story short we both have VapoRub in places there shouldn’t be.”

Stevie just stared while Rhett blushed and sighed, pulling on her sneakers and leading them out to the parking lot. She had insisted on coming, knowing better than to leave damage control to the two who couldn’t even control themselves.

“You two are so lucky I get paid for this shit.”

The nearest hospital was ten miles away and Rhett felt every bump and curve in the road, the stinging and burning still raging in his crotch. He’d been pretty generous about how much he used and he was regretting now.

They walked in through the ER entrance, Link storming and Rhett hanging his head.

They both looked around the room while Stevie explained and two nurses were called, pulling them in separate directions.

Rhett and Link spent two grueling hours being poked and prodded, glaring as the nurses tried to hide smirks as they were forced to explain the situation over and over again to different nurses and doctors. 

Their semi-public shaming ended soon enough, with both men walking out with a furious red blush as their doctors warned them each to carefully read labels next time.

They walked out hand and hand, not caring because it was obvious they came in together and it was late. Onlookers be damned, if Link wanted to hold Rhett’s hand, he was going to.

They were told to not be physically intimate for a week to subdue the irritation. Rhett huffed as he glared at Link across the way, mentally cursing him for not cleaning up his mess so they could have had a normal and very relieving night.

But instead he earned a week of sexual frustration and a trip to the pharmacy first thing in the morning. 

They got back to the hotel, Stevie mumbling as she pushed them into their room.

“Have a good night boys, try not to have too much fun.” She winked as she walked away, letting the fit of giggles wash over her for the first time that night. 

Rhett laid down on the bed, groaning at the residual pain as he went down. He watched Link toss the remaining tub of the offending substance into the trash, not wanting to even have it within his sight.

Link turned off the lights, rolling over and throwing an arm over Rhett, careful to avoid the tender region that had been over explored for the night.

Both men awoke for breakfast the next morning, walking carefully to the elevator to avoid intensifying the lingering pain.

They had slept in, most of the crew getting ready to leave for their free morning before heading to the next tour stop.

Stevie looks up as Rhett and Link took their places among the remaining crew, shooting them both a glance before she smirked devilishly.

“Hey Link, I think I’m starting to come down with that cold, you wouldn’t happen to have any VapoRub would you?”

Rhett choked on his coffee, falling into a fit of laughter as Link’s eyes blew wide, mouth gaping as he struggled to get any words out.

The rest of the crew looked at each other with similar confused expressions, feeling on the outside of an inside joke.

They were never going to live this down, Stevie making sure of it throughout the passing week. 

**Author's Note:**

> this should go without saying, but obviously please do not use vaporub as lube, thanks
> 
> find me on tumblr @youdidinthedark or on the rhink blog @goodmythicalbois


End file.
